Someday
by meektester866
Summary: "You were only able to put that damn t-shirt on, but you couldn't get the courage to dance with her." A first step to self-acceptance. Santana-centric. Takes place in 2x18, "Born this way."


"**Someday"**

You're watching them performing, but the only person you can see is her. She's so focused and so beautiful and you just want to be up there and dance with her. Instead you're sitting in the most darkest area of the auditorium with David, so they can't see you, so she can't see you. You would do anything to sing and dance with her, but you can't. You can't because if you do it the stares and the whispers would start and you can't handle them. It's easier this way.

_Is it, really?_

They are all cheering, they are happy; while you're miserable. You want to hate them, but you can only hate yourself. You were only able to put that damn t-shirt on, but you couldn't get the courage to dance with her. For her. You can't accept who you are, like they just did, because you can't be that. You can't be who you are. You just can't, and that's what hurts the most.

"Can we stop pretending and start being who we are, Dave? Wouldn't it be easier?"

"It would be, yeah. But we can't. And that's why we are pretending. "

He's right, you can't. None of you can't. You're trapped and there's no way out. It's like running not knowing where to go. But you can't hide. He murmurs something, but you don't hear him. You're too busy thinking that you don't see him roll his eyes and leave. You're alone now, you stand up and get close to the stage. You can see yourself up there, accepting who you are. And she's there with you, smiling. Except for the fact that you're not up there and she's not with you. She's gone, she's probably with that stupid boyfriend of hers. And you're alone.

_Get your shit together, Santana._

"My mama told when I was young, we are all born superstars."

You start to sing. And all you feel is lightness, it seems like your soul is actually lighter, like your body can finally fly. You let go and nothing ever felt so good. You begin to dance, while you keep on singing.

"Just love yourself and you're set."

You don't remember a time where you loved yourself. Even when you were with her you hated yourself, more than ever. Because you've always known she loved you but you've never understood what she sees in you, you've never found a reason to love yourself and you just kept on hurting her.

"I'm on the right track baby, I was born to be brave."

You're going to love yourself, to be brave. You don't know how long it will take and you don't even care. You only know you have to do this, and not only because you want her special smile to be yours and only yours, but because you know you owe it to yourself. You have to be you. You can't keep on fighting, at least not yourself.

You suddenly stop when you hear a noise on your left. You turn and you see her standing there, looking guilty. You wipe away the tears on your face, fast. You don't want her to know.

"I didn't mean to interrupt, I'm so sorry. I just left my phone here and I was here to get it, but you were there and I had to stay, you know? But I'm sor…"

"It's okay, Britt.", you stop her rambling, a soft smile on your lips. She gives a little nod and then she just stares at you, surprise evident in her eyes and a little smile on her face.

"You wore it."

You look down at the t-shirt you are wearing. You reflect on the word written on it. That's what you are. And you're so done denying to yourself.

"I'm so proud, you know?"

You look at her and shake your head. Why would she be? You didn't sing, you didn't dance. She should be disappointed.

"Well, you know it now. I know this is hard for you, so I am."

You smile. You know she's telling the truth, because she can't lie. And even if she could, the light in her eyes couldn't be mistaken. Her smile couldn't be mistaken. She is proud of you and you can't help but feeling a little proud of yourself, too. And you want that, you want her to be proud of you, you want her to have that smile on her face, you want her to be happy for the rest of her life. You want to give her that.

_Make a choice._

Your choice is her. You want her. You love her. Forever.

"Would you like to… Dance with me?" Your voice is low and is shaking a little, but she hears it anyway. And you don't need an answer, because her smile is already telling everything. You find yourself smiling, too. You're so relieved.

You start to sing again while she approaches and starts to dance near to you. You're dancing together, this time in the light. You don't promise you won't dance in the dark again, you don't promise that's going to be easy, you don't promise that you'll make it. You don't promise anything, but to try. You're going to try, because you don't want to just survive, but you want to live.

"I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way."

* * *

><p>Disclaimer: The show and its characters don't belong with me.<p>

Author's note: I've always wanted to write something about them, because they are one of my favorite ships and I've finally done it. This episode always attracted me, I mean, I've always wondered if Brittany somehow found out that Santana wore the t-shirt so I've made it happen here. I feel like the fact that she wore the t-shirt meant she was doing the first step to accept herself. At least, this is what I think. I really hope you enjoyed. If you want, let me know what do you think about it. And feel free to point out my mistakes, so I'll correct them.

See you,

Meek.


End file.
